


This or That

by PrincessMeow1989



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ben Barnes as Sirius Black - Freeform, F/M, Timothee Chalamet as Regulus Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27536101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMeow1989/pseuds/PrincessMeow1989
Summary: After Sirius screwed up your relationship, you are devastated. Your friends jump in to help which leads to you being in a "fake" relationship with Regulus Black. Things get even more confusing when you start developing feelings for the Slytherin boy. Now you have to decide do you want "this or that?"
Relationships: Regulus Black/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

“Where is Sirius?”

Remus muttered to James. The two looked up for any sign of their friend. James sighed. 

“He went out with some girl from Ravenclaw last night and didn’t turn back up.” 

Remus rolled his eyes and reached for a cup of juice. Why wasn’t he surprised? 

“Well, I wish he would knock it off. Showing off his new relationships in front of Y/n. He’s breaking her heart and doesn’t care. Bloody git.” 

James smirked. 

“That bloody git is your best friend. Before you say it I know that Y/n is your sister. She is my friend as well too. I’ll have a talk with him later.” 

Both James and Remus instantly stopped talking as you walked into the great hall with Lily and Dorcas Meadowes. James quickly stood and waived all of you over. He was getting sick of Sirius toying with your emotions too. Sirius didn’t seem to understand either. It didn’t matter how many times James had the “you dated Y/n for two weeks before cheating on her with some girl” speech. Sirius’ excuse was I was drunk and she looked like Y/n. 

James still chuckled at the way Remus said, “That girl has red hair and Y/n has the same sandy blond as me and you just happened to land between her tits while looking for my sister.” After the break up with you, Remus and Sirius weren’t on the best of terms (and everyone knew why). 

“Good morning!” 

You said, cheerfully as you sat down beside James as he turned. 

“Where were you last night? Remus and I were in the room of requirement shooting off fireworks. It was epic.” 

You shrugged and reached for a croissant. 

“I was helping Marlene so she doesn’t flunk potions. You know what a catastrophe that would have been.” 

Lily nodded. 

“Speaking of catastrophes, where is Sirius?”

Lily regretted the decision as soon as she asked. Your cheerful expression quickly faded. Lily of all people knew how depressed that you still were over the break up with Sirius. In Lily’s mind, the two of you had no business being together anyway. It didn’t matter if you had been friends with Sirius from your first day of Hogwarts. Since Sirius hit puberty and discovered how good-looking he was; he stopped caring about how he actually made girls feel. This, unfortunately, included you. 

“Let me guess, he had a date.” 

You replied. James nodded, looking at you apologetically. 

“I don’t know why I care.” 

You muttered, fighting the urge to cry. James and Remus exchanged quiet scowls. They went back to the conversation that the whole group had the night before; minus Sirius and yourself. James turned to you. 

“Y/n, I know that you don’t believe it but Sirius still cares for you. Yeah, he has a funny way of showing it. Apparently whoring himself out, in his mind, is healthy.I was thinking maybe he deserves a taste of his own medicine.” 

James said, softly. You looked up from your breakfast. 

“Yeah, what are we going to do? Get me a boyfriend?”

James nodded. 

“We sure are. Hello, darling.” 

Your mouth dropped before turning to face Lily. 

“What? You and me? James, that's crazy. Sirius will never believe it. I would be better off going with someone like Regulus and you know that isn’t going to happen.” 

“I wouldn’t say that.” 

Both James and yourself turned to see Regulus standing behind you. The Slytherin boy shoved James out of his way and sat down. 

“Um, I don’t even know you.” 

You muttered. Regulus nodded.

“Funny, I don’t know you either and why I am willing to help you...is beyond me. Annoying my brother is fun and I’m good at it. If you want to have Sirius eating out of the palm of your hand just go along with me.” 

You made eye contact with Remus who was shaking his head. The last thing that he wanted was to see you going anywhere with Regulus Black. 

“It may work. If it is me, Sirius may think it's some weird joke and punch me in the face...wait who am I kidding he loves me.” 

James said with a smirk. You turned back to Regulus. 

“Okay, you have yourself a deal. We are in the same year so it will be believable.. 

Regulus nodded as his eyes glanced up to see Sirius walk in. His brother looked like he had one hell of a night. Regulus grinned evilly. 

“Showtime, darling. Give me your hand, scoot closer, and act like you like me.” 

You quickly did as you were told moments before Sirius plopped down in an empty place by Dorcas. Looking at him, your heart sank. He had lipstick all over the collar of his shirt and neck. Dorcas turned with a scowl. 

“Look, it lives.” 

Sirius frowned as James scooted a drink to him. 

“Bite me, Meadowes. That girl was a monster...a literal freaking monster. I am surprised that I can walk…” 

Sirius stopped the moment that he looked across the table into his brother’s cold grey eyes. Tilting his head, he looked down to your intertwined hands

“What is going on?” 

Regulus grinned. 

“Just visiting my girlfriend.” 

Sirius nearly knocked his drink over. What exactly had he missed? How long has this been happening and how did he not notice? 

“Girlfriend...Y/n?”

You nodded before awkwardly placing your head on Regulus’ shoulder. 

“Yes, he’s delightful.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at the confused expression on poor Sirius’ face. There was a mixture of hurt and confusion written all over him

Sirius was still trying to put it all together. How? Why? When? The better question was did Walburga know that her “better son” was dating a Gryffandor whose brother was a werewolf? Regulus was still alive so Sirius’ best guess was no.” 

Regulus stood up and held a hand out. 

“I think we are nearly late for class, Y/n. We should go.” 

You quickly bid your friends a farewell before looking back at Sirius once more and following Regulus out of the great hall. As soon as you were out of the hall both Regulus and yourself could hear Sirius yelling...


	2. Chapter 2

You followed Regulus outside. After getting far away enough from the castle, Regulus let go of your hand. He kept checking over his shoulder periodically to see if his brother was following. When Sirius didn’t turn up ready to hex him, Regulus was surprised. He half expected Sirius to come charging out like some irrational idiot. It's what Regulus would have done if the roles were reversed. Both Sirius and Regulus were irrational when they lost their tempers...somethings would never change. 

“So why my brother?” 

He finally asked. You slowly sat down beside the younger Black brother. His eyes were a lot angrier and colder than Sirius. Regulus didn’t have to say that he was broken for you to see it. What broke him, you weren't sure. Was it his family? An unusual burden that he had to carry...or something else? Time would have to tell on that one. 

You were half tempted to reach out and touch his shaggy curls but decided not to. He didn’t seem like the “please touch me” type like his brother. Sirius would have purred like a kitten if you started playing with his hair. That was the one way to turn him into a gooey puddle of goo. You would have to figure out what relaxed Regulus. He sure didn’t seem like he would be giving up that information too easily.

“He and I went out for a bit but he cheated on me. I thought that it would be different because we were good friends first...guess I was stupid to get attached.” 

Regulus frowned. This was a story that he had heard about Sirius one too many times. His attention was hyper-focused on your face as you looked down at your lap. You were a pretty girl. Regulus had to give you that. Would you be “Black family approved?” He highly doubted it. It was probably best that he didn’t develop any real feelings for you. Besides, your goal was to get back with Sirius. Why would you want him anyway? 

“You deserve a lot more than that, Y/n. I think that you are a quality woman and you need to start acting like it.” 

You blinked a few times. No guy had ever told you that before. 

“Thanks. I haven’t had anyone tell me that before.” 

Regulus sighed. 

“It's true. I understand why you want Sirius. Every girl wants a guy like Sirius. I have heard the _Sirius is so handsome_ rubbish all of my life.” 

Your smile faded. Yes, Sirius was handsome but now that you really looked at Regulus...so was he. Both Sirius and Regulus had that haughty arrogant look to them. Those piercing eyes seemed to be staring into your soul. Regulus features were sharper than Sirius. He was just a little bit smaller but still extremely attractive. You felt yourself blush under his gaze. 

“You're handsome too.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes. You are a charmer too.

“Right. You’re just saying that.”

You shook your head, sitting up on your knees. 

“No, I’m telling the truth! I do think you are handsome. I love your curly hair. It's just so wild and out of control...like mine. Maybe you just haven’t been talking to the right people?” 

Regulus laughed slightly at that. This was the first time that you had really seen the boy smile. You liked it. Regulus had a lovely smile...a lovely smile to go with his shy nature. 

“My family is crazy so that would explain a lot. Look, Y/n, I am not great boyfriend material. I honestly don’t know what I am supposed to do other than holding your hand and fawn over you. Unfortunately, I am not the fawning type. I’m more brutally honest and will tell you if your behind looks fat in an outfit.” 

Regulus was relieved when you started giggling. 

“That isn’t a bad quality. I would rather you baffle me with your brains than bull crap.”

“Well, you are in luck then.” 

Regulus commented, feeling his shy exterior building back up. You reached out and took one of his hands in yours. It was the hand that you had been holding in the great hall. Your attention went to the scars that littered the inside of his wrist. His porcelain skin was near perfect minus those small abrasions. 

“May I ask what happened here?” 

Regulus didn’t have to look down to know that you were asking about. It was the scars that he and Sirius shared. Scars from when their mother was on her high horse and punished them for breathing. 

“I don’t want to talk about that.” 

You nodded, suddenly feeling that the dark side of Regulus and Sirius’ comment was not just Sirius exaggerating as he did most things. 

“So, what if we start actually liking each other?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t think that we have to worry about that. Girls don’t like me for too long.” 

You didn’t let go of his hand for a few moments before working on getting brave enough to speak again. 

“We have been talking for a while now and I like you.”

Regulus didn’t smile. You didn’t like him. He had to mutter in his own mind that you didn’t care for him. He was only going to be your plaything. Regulus would lose you to Sirius and he might as well be ready for it. 

“I don’t think love is real emotion anyway. Just like sex is sex. This whole making love nonsense makes me want to puke.” 

When you looked down at your lap, Regulus knew that he had done it. He was scaring you away just like he did most girls. 

“I see. We should probably get to class.”

That evening, you were on your way back to the common room. Your head was in one hell of a pretzel. After the conversation of love with Regulus, you felt less hopeful of any kind of long term relationship with him. This was clearly only a ploy to bug Sirius. 

Sirius...then there were your feelings for him. Of course, there were still feelings there. You felt guilty about upsetting him that morning. He was upset. You could hear him yelling loud enough to prove that. 

The real question was if the two of you became a couple again could you trust him? Part of you said, no the other part was on the fence. Would you ever really be able to feel confident when he left your side? The last thing that you really wanted was to be one of those girls who silently stalked their boyfriends through the hallway to make sure they were “being good.” What if Sirius got bored with you again or forgot that you were his girlfriend? Apparently, you were pretty darn forgettable. 

A pair of hands reached out from the darkness of an empty classroom and tugged you in. The moment that your world stopped spinning, you looked up to see Sirius glaring down at you. 

“Seriously, Regulus? What the hell?”

You sighed, as he kept his hands wrapped around yours. 

“What?”

You questioned. Sirius rolled his eyes and looked like he was ready to punch a hole in the wall. 

“You know what, Y/n! You are dating my brother. What about me?”

“Sirius, you broke up with me. You were seeing other people.” 

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. 

“I messed up! Look, Y/n, you can’t be with Regulus. He’s dangerous. My whole family is dangerous. He will just get you hurt and I can’t stand back and watch it happen.” 

“Sirius, like I said before, you broke up with me. I am not your worry anymore.” 

Sirius was almost ready to start jumping up and down. He didn’t know what in the world that he had to do to get you to understand. 

“I am still going to worry.” 

Out of sheer desperation or panic, Sirius reached out and pulled you into his arms. His mouth was on yours as he kissed you hungrily. Sirius was relieved when you kissed back after a few moments. 

When the two of you broke apart, Sirius leaned his forehead against yours. 

“That tells me what I need to know. You still care for me too.”


	3. Chapter 3

“What do you suppose that she sees in him?” 

James looked up from his toast. He followed Sirius’ gaze to where you sat with Regulus. The two of you were studying quietly. James sighed. He had grown accustomed to seeing the expression of confusion on Sirius’ face when he looked at the two of you. 

“Pads, what do you want me to say? Y/n is happy with Regulus.”

“She kissed me though!”

Sirius snapped. Peter’s eyes rolled up from his book. 

“You kissed her though…”

Sirius kicked Peter under the table causing the boy to yelp. Both Regulus and yourself had turned your attention to where the three boys were sitting. Regulus rolled his eyes and muttered something quietly to you. 

“Doesn’t matter, Peter. She kissed back. Merlin, the girl can kiss too…”

Sirius started to go off in left field before freezing as retaliation that he had never seen Regulus kiss you hit him. 

“I think this is all some fucked up sham.” 

James frowned. 

“What are you talking about?”

Sirius motioned to where you sat cuddling against Regulus.

“Romeo and Juliet over there. I think they are just screwing with me. I have never seen them kiss each other. I mean, fuck, Y/n cuddles with you like that. She and I were snogging on day one.” 

James smirked. Yeah, you were cuddly. You cuddled with all of your friends. That was just who you were. If someone needed a cuddle and was feeling lonely, all that they had to do was go over and wrap around you. 

“Sirius, maybe they just aren’t showy? I mean, Regulus doesn’t seem like a _I’m going to smooch all over my girl_ kind of bloke.”

Sirius stood up. 

“I’m putting an end to this right now. I am done. Y/n, is my girl. I saw her first!”

James shook his head as Sirius jumped up and walked over to the table where you sat. 

Meanwhile, you snuggled closer to Regulus as you read the same sentence for the third time. You were happy to see a small smile play at Regulus’ lips as he scooted his arm over for you a bit more. After that first day, you didn’t push him on the subject of possibly falling in love. You were happy to keep him company and discovered that the two of you had a lot of similar interests. 

The past couple of weeks had been nice. After the kiss with Sirius, he fell in love with some girl in Hufflepuff and was busy (and to your shock, you weren't that upset). You were happy spending your time with Regulus and to your “surprise” you were falling for him like a rock in a pond. Regulus had started slowly opening up more and more. In your mind, you compared him to an onion’s layers. You only had to get through them all. 

The moment, Sirius plopped down both of you looked up at the same time. It didn’t take you being friends with Sirius for a long time to know that he was annoyed. 

“Hi, Sirius.”

You said, pleasantly. Regulus, however, said nothing.

“I’m onto you two little shits.” 

Regulus raised an eyebrow. 

“About?” 

Regulus was no fool. He had gotten the idea that Sirius probably thought that the relationship was a joke. Maybe it was, in the beginning, but now Regulus wasn’t even sure. He was still trying to sort out his feelings himself. On one hand, Regulus was over the moon for you. On the other, his mother’s words of “don’t let your emotions fool you” came into play. He may only be infatuated with you.

“This relationship. You two are just screwing with me.” 

Your smile fell. 

“We have better things to be doing, Sirius.” 

You commented. Sirius started laughing like an idiot. Both Regulus and yourself glanced at each other. You gave the younger brother a shrug as Regulus turned back to his brother. 

“Sirius, I am not wasting one iota of energy on _screwing_ with you.” 

Sirius managed to get his laughter under control before focusing on his younger brother. 

“Kiss her.” 

The color drained from Regulus’ face. 

“What?”

“I said kiss her. If the two of you are in a relationship then you would have no problem with kissing Y/n. I have yet to see the two of you kiss. All that I see is this cuddling crap. Reg, hate to break it to you man, but Y/n cuddles with all of her friends.” 

Regulus felt the sneer return to his face. He was well aware of your cuddling habit and it bugged him. Regulus hated seeing you with your arm wrapped through James Potter’s or your head resting on Lily Evan’s shoulder. Regulus wasn’t about to admit it, even in his own head, but he was green with envy. 

“We don’t have to kiss in front of you.” 

You cut in. Sirius grinned. 

“You’ll kiss me in private though.”

Regulus slipped his arm out of your grasp. 

“What?”

Your heart froze. Did Sirius just tell Regulus about the kiss that he started? You quickly turned to Regulus.  
“He kissed me a few weeks ago. It meant nothing.” 

Regulus clearly wasn’t taking this new well. His hands were trembling as he reached inside of his robe to grab his wand. He started throwing hex after hex at Sirius who jumped up to start throwing his own hexes after his younger brother. 

“I’m going to kill you!” 

Regulus screamed. 

“Sirius, Regulus please stop! This is crazy! Reggie, no. Let’s go.” 

Sirius grinned. 

“Listen to her, Reggie. Go play with your little girlfriend.” 

“She isn’t my girlfriend anymore. Apparently, she will only ever be yours!” 

You felt your heart snap into as some of Regulus' friends followed by James and Remus came to split up the bizarre fight that had broken out. James and Remus hauled Sirius off first (Sirius continuing to scream obscenities at his younger brother). 

Regulus was still trembling as Barty Crouch Jr let go of him. You quickly reached out for his hand. 

“Regulus, please. It didn’t mean anything...I really like you.” 

Regulus turned. His eyes were icy. He reminded you of the boy that you had met for the first time on the train. The boy that literally pushed you out of his way at 11 years old. 

“You’re nothing but a whore.” 

Regulus told his friends to come with him and started for the door. Barty Crouch Jr and Severus Snape only looked at you with sympathy before turning and following their friend. Neither boy would say a word against Regulus. The younger Black brother had his reputation in Slytherin and neither really wanted to test it. They didn’t care if they both started liking you more and more over the past weeks. If Regulus said that you were a whore then you were a whore. Their feelings on the matter meant nothing. 

Regulus’ cold demeanor didn’t ease up over the next few weeks. He wouldn’t speak to you or look in your general direction. To him, you were dead. He didn’t care how sad you were. You were just a silly girl that he shouldn’t have wasted his time on. 

_This is what I get for caring about someone…_

Regulus thought as he walked past you and James Potter one morning. 

_I am never caring about someone again._

For you, the break up (even if it wasn’t a real relationship) seemed 100 times more real than the one with Sirius did. You were heart broken! James and Remus tried to do what they could to cheer you up. Lily and Dorcas snuck off with you to have impromptu dance parties in the room of requirement but your heart wasn’t in any of it. 

“Party in the room of requirement tonight.” 

James said cheerfully as he joined Lily and yourself for breakfast. He plopped down beside you as you wrapped your arms around his and Lily’s. 

“You should come.” 

He said, softly. You shook your head. 

“I’ll just bring it down.” 

Sirius, who you hadn’t even noticed, joined in. 

“It beats you sitting in the common room all alone and psycho like.” 

You looked up with a frown and kicked his shin under the table. 

“This is all your fault anyway. If you would have kept your mouth shut then I wouldn’t have to be sad.”

Sirius held his hands up. 

“Forgive me for caring.” 

It took all you had not to throw the syrup-filled waffle that you were eating at him. 

“You don’t care. You are just a jealous asshole. All that you want, Sirius, is for me to be waiting around for you to pick up when you get bored with some other set of boobs. You couldn’t handle it because I was happy with Regulus.” 

Sirius took a breath. Yeah, maybe he was jealous but he also didn’t want you harmed by his family.

“You would just get hurt. Love, I know my family and you don’t. You would just get hurt by one of those idiots. My brother is too far in with them. Do you think the good son is going to stand beside you and forget what's been drilled into his head? My mum and dad has him so brainwashed. Your little darling will let my mother pick you apart and she will. Y/n, do you honestly have one quality that a pureblood psycho family will care for? You're a half-blood and your brother is a werewolf. My mother will go ballistic on both of those. Regulus, no matter how beautiful and kind you are, will never abandon my family for you. I’m sorry but it's true.”

James didn’t reply. As much as he wanted to stand up for you, he knew that Sirius was right on that one. Sirius could have said that a little nicer but all of it was true. James had wanted to find a way to tell you that the only reason that you were with Regulus, to begin with, was to get back with Sirius. You weren't supposed to get hurt during all of this and you did. James never expected you to actually care for Regulus. 

You, meanwhile, only glared at Sirius before looking down. Did you expect Regulus to leave his family for you? No. Hell, the two of you hadn’t even discussed his family. Regulus wouldn’t even talk to you about that subject. 

“Well, thank you for that.” 

You said before standing up and walking away. Walking toward the door of the great hall, you ran right into Regulus. His arm reached out to grab you before you hit the ground. You didn’t realize that it was Regulus at first until you saw the ring with his family’s crest on his left hand. 

_Merlin…_

You thought, not daring to look up. 

“Sorry.”

You muttered as Regulus returned you to your feet. What you didn’t see was the pain in Regulus’ eyes. He had been looking for a reason, any reason, to have a chance to talk to you. From the Slytherin table, he could see how genuinely said that you had appeared over the past few days. It also didn’t help that James and Remus practically screamed at him one afternoon. 

“It's okay. Y/n...I” 

“I’ve got to go.” 

You said, gently removing your hand from his grasp and quickly walked out of the great hall. At the moment, you wanted somewhere safe to cry. 

Running into the lavatory on the second floor, you knew that no one would bother looking for you. You stopped as your hands hit the chipped sink. After a few moments of quiet sobbing, you looked up at your reflection. Your eyes were swollen from tears and cheeks were blood red. 

“Sobbing over the Black brothers are you?” 

You turned around to see Moaning Myrtle standing a few feet away. 

“Something like that.”

You said, sadly. Myrtle flew over to the sink and sat down. 

“Naughty boys they are. Both of them. The handsome one doesn’t care how he makes others feel and the younger one is so broken it's pathetic.” 

Myrtle grinned when you looked up. 

“I’m broken too, Myrtle.” 

Moaning Myrtle was no idiot when it came to your past. The two of you had talked about it frequently. Myrtle had taken a liking to you. You were one person who was very kind to her. 

“Poor Y/n. You always take care of people. Your brother, your friends, Sirius...It only makes sense to want to care for Regulus. He’s a nice little addition to your collection.” 

“Misery loves company, I guess.”

You replied. Myrtle giggled. 

“How do you do it? You have both of the Black brothers eating out of the palm of your hand.” 

You shook your head. 

“Not really. I do love Sirius but I love Regulus also. I love him more…” 

“Go tell him.”

Myrtle replied. You immediately shook your head. 

“It's not that simple.” 

Myrtle giggled again before going to patrol the pipes leaving you alone to your thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

You remained in the girl's lavatory for a while longer. The last thing that you really wanted was to run into Sirius or Regulus. Sure, maybe Sirius did have a point. Maybe falling in love with Regulus was reckless and just asking for your heart to be broken but you couldn’t help how you felt. You couldn’t help that it was Regulus’ icy grey eyes that you saw when you closed your eyes. 

_“I’m just an idiot.”_

You muttered before standing up and looking down at your watch. The party was going by now. Maybe you should go and have a good time. You could hang out with James and Lily. Sirius was probably off with his latest conquest so there really wasn’t much of a need to worry about him. You couldn't help but think how if Sirius actually cared for you he sure had a weird way of showing it. 

There were also the thoughts of how your feelings toward the elder Black brother were now platonic. The desperate need that you once felt to be with him had vanished as quickly as it had come on. Maybe Sirius was just a stepping stone to get you to where you needed to be. Where that path was now, you had no idea. Regulus made it clear that he didn’t want you. You were honestly surprised that he hadn’t hexed you yet. 

What you hadn’t thought about were the longing expressions that Regulus had been shooting you in the hallway or in class. There were also the mystery flowers that had begun to turn up around the castle with your name on them. When you told Sirius to knock it off, he was clueless. 

_“Fuck, you like flowers?”_

He had asked in shock when you questioned him if he was the one that had been leaving you the little gifts in places that you frequented. That was enough to let you know that it wasn’t Sirius. Your next thought was either James or Remus. They had probably gotten sick of seeing you so moody and depressed that they finally stepped in. 

Stepping into the room of requirement, you edged your way around the room. You wanted to avoid any boy that would potentially ask you to dance. The last thing that you wanted was some cheesy love song that could be perfect for Regulus. 

_We could have been so good together,  
We could have lived this dance forever  
But now, who's gonna dance with me?  
Please stay_

_“Too late.”_

You muttered, trying to ignore the sound playing. 

“Y/n!”

You looked up to see Regulus laying a few feet away on a sofa. He was clutching a bottle of vodka as he waived you over. In the time that you had known Regulus, you had never seen him drink. He didn’t down the booze as Sirius and James could. Maybe that was another thing that you liked about him. Regulus didn’t need alcohol to function properly. 

“Yes?” 

Regulus struggled to sit up. He was totally under the influence of whatever it was that Barty put in his hand. Drinking wasn’t normally Regulus’ style. He had seen his father and brother drink enough to destroy a liver and its after-effects. Typically Regulus wanted nothing to do with that. 

Today, however, after you ran away from him in the great hall he was more than happy to have a drink. Regulus had good intentions of apologizing to you. It wasn’t your fault that Sirius was a slut and wasn’t able to let go of things that weren't his. That wasn’t your problem and you should never have been blamed for it. 

Regulus had been feeling guilty from the time that his irrational temper calmed down. The heartbroken expression on your face when he called you a whore was haunting him in his sleep. 

_“You could have been loved by her. You have waited your whole life to be loved.”_

The thought alone was enough to leave Regulus as a sobbing mess on the floor of his dormitory. None of his friends said a word. They were living in fear of Regulus kicking their heads in if they tried. It wasn’t until Barty offered the bottle of vodka and promised that it would take the pain away did Regulus calm himself. 

Now here he lay, in the middle of this loud party, with his lead on some girl’s lap. The expression on your face made the ache return as Regulus struggled to stand. 

“I want to talk to you.”

Regulus slurred as he wrapped his hand around yours. 

“You’re drunk and won’t mean anything.”

You replied as Regulus shook his head. His normal calm cold demeanor reminded you of an over-excited puppy who had been smacked with a newspaper too many times. 

“Okay, let's go over here where it's quiet.” 

Regulus followed you, without complaint, to another part of the room of requirement that was strangely silent. 

“What do you want to talk about?” 

You asked, shyly. Regulus smiled. 

“I want to kiss you.” 

Your mouth dropped. This was definitely drunk Regulus. Drunk Regulus strongly reminded you of sober Sirius.

“Regulus, again, you are drunk. You’ll regret it tomorrow. Just like you’ll regret talking to me. Can we just not?”

Regulus shook his head violently. His curls bounced as he reached for your hands. 

“So what if I’m drunk? I’m brave enough to do it now. Let’s go find my stupid brother and he can watch. He’s weird…” 

You fought the urge to smile. 

“Yes, he is.” 

Regulus smiled again before reaching out to stroke your face with his free hand. 

“You’re pretty.”

You couldn’t help but smile now. 

“Come on, let's get you back to your common room. Say bye-bye to the vodka.”

Regulus shook his head

“Bye-bye vodka. I don’t want to go back there. I wanna stay with you.” 

You motioned to the small couch. 

“At least sit down before you fall down. You can kiss me when you're sober and thinking with your normal brain.” 

Regulus didn’t fight as he sat down then changed his mind. You weren't getting away from him. He quickly laid down and snuggled his face into your lap. 

“I’m just going to take a little nap.” 

You sat quietly stroking your fingers through Regulus’ curls as he snored lightly against you. 

“What did you do to him?”

You looked up, hearing James' voice. Both he and Remus were clearly a bit tipsy as well too. Remus had a goofy smile that you didn’t see often plastered to his face. 

“Nothing, he had a one-man party in the Slytherin common room. I’m just keeping him company while he sleeps. He looks so innocent like this.” 

James faked a gag before grinning. 

“He makes you happy, doesn’t he?”

You nodded.

“Well, not the past few weeks but in general yes. I do love Sirius but it's a different kind of love. I thought that I was feeling one way but I really wasn’t. I just hope Regulus doesn’t turn into a jackass when he wakes up.” 

James elbowed Remus to shoo him from the room. 

“Let’s leave them alone.” 

You remained with Regulus until around 3 am when Barty Crouch Jr came looking for him. 

“I’ll take him from here.” 

He said casually before easily tossing his friend over his shoulder. You remained on the couch a moment longer missing the feeling of Regulus snuggled against you. 

_“Time to go back to the real world.”_

Later that morning, you walked down to breakfast. You were still internally smiling over Regulus’ drunken conversation. He would be so embarrassed if he knew how he behaved and you knew it. 

Stepping into the room, your eyes fluttered to the Slytherin table. Regulus sat with his head down on the table. Barty met your gaze before quickly leaning down to Regulus and muttering. Regulus’ head snapped up as he met your gaze. 

_Back to the real world…_

You reminded yourself before going to join your friends. Taking a seat by Lily. She gave you a gentle smile before laying her head on your shoulder. 

“I heard that you had an interesting night last night.” 

You nodded as Sirius looked up from the test that he was cramming for. 

“Did Regulus really get trashed?” 

You chuckled

“He drank half a bottle of vodka and passed out on my lap. Should have known that you two were related. He reminds me of you drunk.” 

Sirius smirked. 

“Did he try to make out with you?” 

“He wanted to kiss me. He didn’t say anything about making out...so maybe he isn’t exactly like you.” 

Sirius scowled at you. He was making a mental note that he needed to get used to the teasing that you so lovingly dished out. 

“I would have asked you to go to bed with me.” 

“It's too early.”

Lily said, cutting in. The last thing that she wanted was a blow out between Sirius and yourself that morning. You reached for a piece of toast ignoring Sirius’ annoyed expression. The two of you sat in silence until you felt a soft tap on your shoulder. 

Turning, you froze seeing Regulus standing there. The boy looked like he had slept in his clothes from the day before. You could tell that he was beyond hungover and focusing on not throwing up. 

“Hi, Y/n. May I talk to you, alone?” 

Your attention fluttered back to your friends who were clearly shocked by Regulus’ sloppy put-together appearance. James had leaned over and muttered something in Sirius’ ear that made him laugh. 

“You look bad.”

Sirius’ commented. Regulus looked up to his brother with a scowl. 

“The fact that I don’t hurl on your shoes speaks volumes of my unending mercy on you.” 

You fought back a smile before standing up and grabbing your robe. 

“Sure. Let’s go before the hexes start flying again.” 

Regulus wrapped his arm through yours as the two of you walked silently to an empty hallway. 

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night.” 

Regulus started. You smiled. 

“It's fine. You were actually adorable.” 

Regulus rolled his eyes. 

“That is exactly how I like to describe myself. Look, Y/n, about that day with my stupid big-headed brother...I am really sorry for what I said to you. You didn’t deserve that. You’re a nice girl and didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t put anything past Sirius and I really don’t want to lose you to him. He always gets the girl and I am always the one forgotten about. I don’t want that to happen this time. I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend. Honestly, I don’t know what to do. There is also my family...they aren’t going to be happy with me dating a half-blood but for once I don’t care…I want to be with you because you make me happy. I want to be happy for once and I want to make you happy.”

You stood with your mouth open taking in everything that Regulus had just said to you. He quickly dropped his head, as if he was embarrassed of the words that just left his mouth. Clearly, he had no idea how to show love. You knew that he hadn’t ever been shown love a day in his life. Maybe you could be that person that loved him. 

Reaching out, you took his hand in yours. 

“I don’t care if you don’t know everything because I don’t either. What I do know is I want you too. I want to make you happy and show you that love is a true emotion.” 

Regulus’ grey eyes rolled up at the word love. His comments that day about love not being a real emotion came back to your mind. 

“I don’t expect you to say that you love me right away but let me show you that love is real. I think that you’ll like it.” 

Regulus nodded. He wanted to tell you that he felt differently about you than he had anyone else but decided against it. 

“I would like that. Can I kiss you now?”

“Please.”

You said with a sigh as Regulus pulled you against him. He gently tilted your face to his before leaning down to press his lips to yours. You wanted to keep your eyes open to see how Regulus reacted but you couldn't. The moment that his left arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the kiss; your eyes shut. 

Regulus was the first to pull away. He leaned his head against yours. Keeping his eyes closed, he wanted to savor the moment forever. This would be the first kiss that he cared about. This was the first kiss that he wanted to last forever. 

The two of you didn’t see Remus, James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter hiding behind a column a few feet away. James didn’t want to look at the heartbroken expression on Sirius’ face.

“I guess it is real.” 

James commented as Lily wrapped her hand through his. Remus quickly looked away. He didn’t want to stand by and watch one of your most personal private moments. 

“Our little peppermint patty is growing up.” 

Lily said with a motherly grin. Sirius gave her an annoyed expression. 

“You lot do realize that she kissed me too right?”

Lily scowled at Sirius. 

“Sirius, stop talking. You are ruining the moment.” 

Sirius stood and edged away. 

“Let’s go. Regulus will hex us if he knows that we are watching.” 

James was the last to look away. He gave the two of you another smile and went after his friends. He was thankful that you were happy.

“Good luck, Y/n.”

Meanwhile, Regulus slowly moved his arm from around your waist. 

“Would you like to go somewhere a little more private?” 

A few moments later, the two of you had snuck back into the room of requirement. You had barely closed the door when Regulus pulled you back into his arms. The kiss this time was deeper and more urgent. 

“I won’t do this in public. I’m not my brother.” 

Regulus said, his voice seething with disdain for Sirius. There were some things that Regulus didn’t want to share with the rest of the world. What the two of you did in public was for your eyes only. Regulus’ love life wasn’t for the consumption of those without one. 

You only nodded as Regulus backed you against a bed. The moment the soft mattress hit the back of your knees you fell back. Regulus quickly took his place over you. The desperate needy kissing continued for a few more blissful moments. 

Your fingers latched in Regulus’ hair as he moaned against your lips. Internally, you smiled. Maybe Regulus did have a bit of a hair kink after all. 

“How far do you want this to go?”

Regulus asked, between kisses. 

“I’ve never had sex before.” 

You confessed, feeling a blush come over your face. Regulus quickly got off of you looking confused. 

“But you were with Sirius…”

You nodded, 

“We didn’t date long and we just never got to that.” 

Regulus was completely stunned. He was stunned and freaking thrilled. For once, he wasn’t going to be getting Sirius’ sloppy seconds. If you were to ever let him touch you, in that way, then he would be your first. 

“We don’t have to rush. I would rather wait a while anyway. I want it to mean something.” 

Regulus said, calmly. You sat up and bravely crawled onto his lap. 

“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be ready.”


	5. Chapter 5

2 months…

It had been two months since you had officially begun dating Regulus. As you expected, there was a lot of talking when word of your relationship officially got out. A few stupid boys from your own house decided to make teasing comments about you dating a Slytherin and ended up getting hexed by Regulus. No one was about to mess with Regulus and his reputation. 

The only complaint was the lack of physical intimacy in your relationship. When Regulus said that he was taking things slow, he wasn’t kidding. You wondered if Regulus thought you were a slut because you had been hinting about the next level of your relationship for some time. 

_What if he thinks I’m a whore? Am I whore for wanting to be with him?_

The thoughts plagued you almost non-stop! Regulus had been trying to prove to you that he could change but not everything was perfect. 

“Christmas is coming up.” 

Lily said casually one morning over breakfast. You looked up from the book that Regulus had put down in front of you. Lily’s comment didn’t seem to register with your boyfriend. You knew that Regulus still wasn’t 100% on Lily. He had finally stopped trying to call her a mudblood (after a lot of nasty arguments between the two of you) and was now calling her by her name. 

“Yeah, it is. What are your plans?”

You asked. Lily took a sip of her juice giving you a wink. She was partially trying to help get information out of Regulus. You had been hoping that he would take up your offer of going home with you for the holiday. Your parents were over the moon happy with the fact that you finally got a boyfriend. Regulus, on the other hand, wasn’t so sure about the idea of meeting parents so fast was a good idea. 

“I’m going home. Maybe we can all get together and do something before we come back to school. What are your plans, Y/n?” 

Your eyes flickered to Regulus’ hopefully. His grey eyes didn’t move from the book. 

“I’m going home too. James had mentioned that his parents were having a party.” 

James nodded as he and Sirius sat down. You noted how Sirius and Regulus still acted as though the other didn’t exist. It didn’t matter how much you begged either boy to give the other brother a chance either. 

“Yep, it's going to be lit...well as it can be with one’s parents hovering.” 

“We can still have a good time. Y/n, are you coming?” 

Sirius asked, with a smirk. If he could just get you alone without your little shadow maybe he could win you over? He still didn’t understand what you saw in Regulus. The two of you seemed like such an awkward couple. Regulus wouldn’t kiss you in public. He acted as if you holding his hand was going to kill him. All that Regulus seemed to be comfortable with was to pull you into a broom closet whenever the mood suited him. Sirius had quit looking at the map when you were on a date with Regulus. All that Sirius saw was your names in broom closets or on top of the astronomy tower for long periods of time.

Some romance.

Sirius thought bitterly as you turned in his direction. 

“Remus and I will be there.”

That got Regulus’ attention. His eyes were on you. On your last date, you had mentioned the party but you only were thinking about going. Now that you were going and Sirius was going...Regulus was concerned. He didn’t like the fact that you were still friendly with Sirius. Regulus was jealous and he didn't know why. Maybe it was the worry that he would end up losing you to Sirius in the end. 

_Why wouldn’t she want Sirius? He isn’t uncomfortable with kissing her in public or touching her for that matter…_

Regulus thought gloomily before sliding his hand on top of yours. You scooted closer to him practically begging him for any kind of physical affection that he would give. Regulus still wasn’t for sure how to tell you that he wasn’t completely comfortable with snogging you in front of other people. Should that be saved for private? 

James had picked up on the mood between Regulus and Sirius right away. 

“Regulus, I know that you don’t have much to say about anything but if you can get away from your crazy parents you can come with Y/n.” 

“Thanks but I have plans.” 

Regulus replied. You quickly turned to him. 

“What plans? I thought that we were going to do something.” 

Regulus didn’t turn in your direction. 

“Something came up.” 

“When were you going to tell me?” 

You asked, ignoring your friends who were now focused on the brewing spat between the two of you. 

“Later.”

Regulus replied, finally meeting your gaze. He knew that you were put out. 

“I have to get going anyway. I need to see Professor Slughorn about an essay.” 

You said as you gently let go of Regulus’ hand. 

“I’ll come with you.”

He said, calmly. 

As soon as the two of you were out of the great hall, Regulus stopped walking and tugged you into an empty classroom. 

“What was that back there?” 

“Nothing.”

You said. Regulus put his books down before tilting your face to his. Even though you were a tad annoyed with him, Regulus could still win you over with one little smile. 

“I’m going to miss you too.” 

Regulus leaned down and snuggled his face into your hair. He had to get in control of the situation...fast! Over the past few months, Regulus was trying to be less of a control freak and more spontaneous. This was proving to be difficult for him.

“We better go. We’ll be late.” 

You said with a sigh. Why you were so moody was a mixture of things. You had been hoping to have someone on one time with Regulus that you couldn’t have at school. You were tired of hiding in a dark abandoned classroom to get any kind of physical contact with your boyfriend. Sure, these make-out sessions were heated and often left you panting but you wanted more. You loved the way Regulus’ hands were beginning to get braver with each day but he wasn’t being as brave as you wanted. 

Maybe he was just trying to be a gentleman and not push you into something that you weren't ready for? You were trying to give him some credit there. Regulus would probably be a perfectionist when it came to your first time. There was also the knowledge of his own disastrous “first time” with his ex Ambrosia Parkinson that was making him take things slow with you? 

Ambrosia was another delicate subject that Regulus didn’t discuss often. His ex was a bratty nightmare on two legs. In your mind, she used Regulus. She used him to say that she was dating a member of the Black family then discarded him when she didn’t get way on everything. Regulus, no matter who the woman was, was not going to be easily walked over. You thanked his “control freak” nature for that one. 

Ambrosia hated you too. She and Evan Rosier were on the same page that Regulus was wasting his time on you. Whenever either Ambrosia or Evan saw the two of you together they would automatically try to pull Regulus away.

Your own dislike of Evan Rosier came flooding in. You were already thinking negative things of parts of Regulus’ life before you so why not let Evan join in. Regulus knew that you didn't’ like Evan but he wasn’t about to drop his best friend since childhood (and you didn’t expect him to) but he could tell Evan to shut his gigantic trap from time to time.

Regulus kissing your forehead pulled you from your thoughts. 

“You look so unhappy.”

You shook your head. 

“Can we just drop it and go to potions?” 

Regulus sighed and held out his arm. 

“Fine.” 

As usual, once in Slughorn’s room, Regulus went off to join Evan and his other friends. Snape gave you a nod when the two of you locked gazes. He and, sometimes, Barty was okay. You could deal with Snape better because of his friendship with Lily. That was probably the only reason that he found you so acceptable when it came to Regulus. 

“You look all hot and bothered.” 

Lily said with a smile. She had come into help with that particular day’s lesson and plopped down beside you. 

“I’m just annoyed. Regulus is confusing.” 

Lily lightly laughed. 

“What boy isn’t? What is he doing?”

You glanced over your shoulder and met Regulus’ gaze. It was as if he knew that you were talking about him. 

“Lily, how long did it take for James and yourself to get past second base?” 

Lily really laughed on that one. 

“That depends if you are asking James or myself. I will say a fair amount of time. James would try to convince you it was years. Have you and Regulus…”

You shook your head. 

“No, it isn’t for my lack of not wanting to. I keep telling him that I am ready but he stops when it gets too far. This may be childish but I am wondering if he still cares for...her.” 

Lily knew automatically who you were talking about. She glared in Ambrosia’s direction. The girl was still looking at Regulus hopefully. 

“I don’t think that you have anything to worry about. If Regulus didn’t care for you I don’t think that he would have stepped outside of his comfort zone the way that he has. Besides, you aren’t named after a fruit salad. What were her parents thinking?”

Lily was relieved when you smiled at that. She understood your moody feelings. You wanted to spend time with Regulus over the holiday break; she didn’t put it past you to have something special already planned. Lily’s heart hurt knowing that those special plans had been crushed by whatever better opportunity came up for Regulus. 

“Thanks, Lily.” 

You said with a smile as Slughorn stepped in to begin his lesson. 

After the lesson was over Slughorn gave out his reminder for his “Slug club” members that his Christmas party was the next evening. Regulus has asked you to go with him right after the two of you began dating. This was one thing that you were at least thankful for. Even if Regulus hadn’t asked you, you would have gone. Slughorn was over the moon for you as a student. When he found out that you were dating Regulus, the old man seemed thrilled. 

You stood up to go to the door and wait for Regulus. The moment that you turned in his direction, you wished that you hadn’t. Ambrosia had her arms around Regulus’ shoulders and was kissing him like the world was about to end. Your mouth fell open in shock as Regulus pushed her away furiously. 

“What are you thinking?”

Regulus snapped before noticing Evan’s silent giggling. 

“Turn around, mate.” 

Evan said with a smile. He was enjoying the devastated expression on your face. He didn’t want you with Regulus to begin with. Evan hated the fact that his best friend was dating some filthy half-blood from Gryffindor. 

Regulus immediately spun around and felt immediately guilty when he saw your face. There was nothing but hurt and sadness written all over you. 

“Y/n…”

You shook your head and left the room without another word. 

As you ran down the hall, you ran into something hard and fell backward. After smacking your head on the stone floor, you looked up as James popped out from underneath his invisibility cloak.

“Y/n, precious!”

He squealed delighted to see you but stopped the moment he realized that you were crying. 

“Hurry, jump in here.” 

The moment that you were under the cloak, you were squished between James and Sirius. Sniffing back some more tears, you took in your current situation.

“What are you two doing?”

Sirius grinned. 

“Playing a prank on Snivelly. Hey, are you crying?”

“Forget it.

You said, softly. About that time Regulus came running around the corner. He looked as devastated as you felt. 

“Y/n? Darling, where are you?”

Regulus looked around pathetically. He didn’t realize that you were standing just a bit from him. 

“Reg, can you slow down?”

Evan and Barty rounded the corner breathing heavily. Barty almost looked like he could pass out. 

“Did you find her?”

Regulus shook his head.

“It's like she disappeared. I have to find her.” 

Evan shook his head. 

“She’ll turn up when she wants to chat. Come on, let's go back to the common room. I have some **_things_** to go talk to you about our plans for the holiday.” 

Regulus waited a moment before turning and following his friends back down the corridor and out of sight. 

James and Sirius waited until the coast was clear before pulling the cloak off. Right as they did, Remus turned the corner and stopped at the sight of you pressed against Sirius and James behind you. Remus mentally compared the three of you looking like three gummy bears stuck together on a summer day.

“I normally don’t ask questions but what the hell is going on? Is Regulus and Lily okay with this? I’m not sure that I am…” 

James, Sirius, and yourself immediately pulled apart. Sirius and yourself were scowling at Remus while James howled with laughter. This was the funniest damn thing that had happened to him all day. 

“Hush, you. It wasn’t what it looked like.” 

Sirius snapped as James got a grip on himself. 

“Sirius and I were under the cloak about to pull a grand prank when Y/n came running around the corner and into us. She was….”

“Wait, why were you crying?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

You replied. Sirius rolled his eyes as things were starting to click.

“Well, I do. What did my brother do?” 

You resisted the urge to return the awkward hug that Sirius was giving you. 

“I’m not telling you because I don’t want you to do anything stupid about it!” 

You quickly turned and left your two confused best friends and older brother scratching their heads. It wasn’t until Lily walked up did they turn away. 

“I can tell you what happened.”


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, James and Sirius were still angry over the whole Ambrosia kissing Regulus incident. Both boys waited for you to come down into the common room for breakfast. When you didn’t show, they shrugged and went down to the great hall alone. 

“We have to do something.” 

Sirius said, angrily. James gave his best friend a look before reaching out and grabbing Sirius’ arm. 

“Can you not hit on her? She is having a hard enough time already.”

Sirius sighed.

“Look, Prongs. I get it. She wants Regulus. Y/n doesn’t want me...like that. I was going to apologize to her for being a massive dick to her too. She deserves that.” 

James was clearly pleased. 

“There’s my best friend! Why don’t you offer to go with her to Slughorn’s Christmas party tonight...as friends. Something tells me that she won’t be going with Reg.” 

Sirius shook his head. 

“I am not going to Slughorn's merry get together. I have a better idea. We’ll have a party. Just our circle. That will bring Y/n some joy. It's the people who care for her the most.” 

James considered Sirius’ plan as they walked into the great hall. 

“Great idea. Hey, Regulus is looking rough this morning. Let’s go spread joy.” 

Sirius smirked at where his little brother sat with his group of idiot friends. Regulus definitely didn’t look happy. His face was sour as he kept glancing to the Gryffindor table for any sign of you. 

“I like to spread joy.” 

“You two aren’t spreading joy without me.” 

Both Sirius and James turned as Remus ran up. Both boys were clearly pleased to see Remus running up to defend your honor. 

“Moony, I was wondering where you were.”

Sirius said, happily. Remus nodded. 

“I didn’t want Y/n dating him in the first place. I knew that this would be nothing short of a disaster.” 

James elbowed Sirius. 

“So about that spreading joy thing?” 

The three boys wore matching smirks as they walked past the Slytherin table. Sirius was the first to stop. Regulus, Evan, and Ambrosia (who Sirius noted looked pretty depressed herself) all looked up at him. 

“Bitch, jerk, and fruit salad. Hope you all are having a lovely day.” 

It took all that James had not to break down with laughter over Sirius using Lily’s “special” nickname for Ambrosia. Regulus was on his feet with his wand out in less than three seconds. He was ready to hex his brother for even speaking to him that morning. 

Evan reached up and tugged Regulus back down. 

“He isn’t worth it.” 

Evan said, sounding almost bored. 

“You all are some mean little twats, you know that?” 

James snapped. Remus quickly came in. 

“I told my sister not to date you. I knew that you would just break her heart. It only took you two months. I was holding out for 5. Sirius disagreed. He said you wouldn’t make it 3.”

Regulus’ eyes had darkened as he glared at Remus. 

“Go suck on a loafer, Lupin.”

Regulus didn’t curse much. That was another way that he and Sirius differed. Every other word out of Sirius’ mouth was a curse word. Regulus, on the other hand, didn’t curse. He considered it “beneath him.” 

“Do you kiss my sister with that mouth? Oh wait, she just dumped you.”

James was about to make another joke at Regulus’ expense but before he could you walked up. 

“That’s enough, boys.” 

You said, calmly. As much as you didn’t want to, you met Regulus’ gaze. His face was screaming “I’m sorry” as he stood. 

“We were just having some fun with these twat waffles.” 

James said with a grin. He put an arm around you and smirked how instantly jealous Regulus appeared. 

“Let’s go. They aren’t worth it.”

You said. Regulus finally remembered how to talk. You guessed he was struggling with words or trying to keep his raging temper in check. 

“What about Slughorn’s party? You already have a dress.” 

Regulus ignored the way Evan was smirking at him. Evan knew exactly what Regulus meant. Your mother and father spent a lot of money on that dress. It was money that your family didn’t have. This was yet another reason that Evan didn’t see you as a proper girlfriend for his best friend. Poor families didn’t have any business mingling with the upper class.

“I’m not going and definitely not with you.”

Your response was cruel and you knew it. However, you wanted to hurt Regulus as badly as he hurt you. You couldn’t help but wonder if he actually cared about you at all? You were hurt and irrational...misery truly loves company.

_Boyfriends don't’ kiss other girls in front of their girlfriends…_

Your mind supplied as Sirius grinned. 

“I’ll go with you. I don’t really know any of those nerds except Evans and yourself but I’m free tonight.” 

You internally smacked yourself in the head. Regulus was seething now! He pointed his wand right at Sirius and muttered a curse. Thankfully, Sirius was quick enough to repel the curse with an amused laugh. 

“I’m not going to the party, thank you. Now let's go. This is getting out of hand.” 

You grabbed a hold of Remus and Sirius’ arms before tugging them away with you. James smiled as if he had won some grand prize before following you to the Gryffindor table. 

Lily and Marlene had been watching the spat from their places. 

“We were waiting for someone to start hexing the other. Regulus lasted longer than expected.” 

Marlene commented. You sat down in a huff. This was the last way that you wanted to spend your morning. You had all intentions of going to Regulus and ending things properly. If he wanted to kiss Ambrosia, he could have at it. So what if you were devastated? Clearly, your feelings didn’t matter to Regulus in the slightest. He couldn’t defend you against his stupid friends so why even bother with a relationship? 

“The little git thought that she would still go to that party with him.” 

James commented. Lily frowned. 

“So, you’re not going now? Who will James and I talk to?” 

You smiled at the offended expression on James' face. 

“Each other, maybe?” 

Sirius had kept his eye on his little brother who looked close to frustrated tears. This totally shocked Sirius. The last time that he had seen Regulus cry was when Orion was using the cruciatus curse on Sirius for breaking a window. Regulus was 8 years old at the time and sobbing in the doorway. Orion had yelled at Regulus telling him to suck it up. After that Regulus didn’t cry anymore. He just looked indifferent toward everything. 

_Maybe he actually does care about her?_

Sirius thought, feeling a bit guilty about the earlier scene. He pulled himself from his thoughts and turned back to his friends. 

“Better idea, instead of Slughorn's boring ass party, why don’t we all have one of our own. You know our inner circle?” 

Lily shook her head. 

“We have to go. These parties are a big deal. Slughorn will be devastated. Y/n just come with James and I. Yeah, it may be a little unorthodox but it can be fun.” 

James nodded. 

“I can dance with you both.” 

You shook your head, giving them both a frown.

“Way to make me a third wheel.” 

Sirius put his fork down and turned to you. 

“Go with me.” 

Sirius wasn’t surprised when you scooted away. 

“Sirius, that is a horrible idea.” 

He held his hands up defensively. 

“We can go as friends. Y/n, I’m sorry. I know that I have been a real git myself to you. I know that you want Regulus and I’m okay with that. What I am not okay with is how he is treating you and how our friendship is going. We’ve been friends too damn long to let it go out like this.” 

Sirius was relieved when you smiled. 

“You’re right. We have been.”

You didn’t care about admitting that you missed your friendship with Sirius. 

“That would be really nice. I would like that.” 

It was cruel what you were doing. You knew that you turning up with Sirius would break Regulus’ heart. This would be Regulus having to face his worst fear...losing you to Sirius. 

_It really isn’t like that but it will appear that way._

Maybe Regulus would then see how you felt seeing Ambrosia kiss him. It was devastating! 

That evening you sat as Marlene put the finishing touches on your makeup. She clasped her hands together before putting her makeup away. 

“Y/n, you are so beautiful! It's no wonder that you have Sirius and Regulus fighting over you.” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“It isn’t as glamorous as it seems. Trust me.” 

Lily walked in with a small box in her hands. She smiled before putting the box in your lap. 

“This is from Regulus.” 

Your mouth dropped as you quickly undid the cute little bow. What was Regulus thinking? Did he think that sending you some cheesy letter in a box was going to win you back? 

“I wonder why he is sending me something?

You commented before reading the name on the box. 

“Tiffanys?” 

Marlene shrugged. 

“Must be some kind of muggle brand? Seems kind of odd that Regulus went with a muggle brand seeing how he is.” 

Lily’s mouth dropped as she scooted closer. 

“Tiffanys if super expensive.” 

Marlene nodded as it all began to click. Of course, Regulus would send you some over the top expensive gift. His family was good for it.

Your mouth dropped as you looked at the most beautiful pair of pearl earrings and a matching necklace that you had ever seen! This was the first piece of truly nice jewelry that you ever owned. 

“Wow, these are beautiful. I can’t keep them though.” 

Marlene jumped up. 

“What are you talking about? Regulus wouldn’t have given them to you if he didn’t want you to have them?” 

You sighed and closed the little box. 

“He probably got them before yesterday and they just turned up. I can’t keep anything that expensive. Lily, tell Sirius that I am not going to the party. I have to get out of here.” 

You ignored your friends pleading for you to come back as you dashed out of the common room. 

Marlene sighed. 

“Well, what do we do now.” 

Lily silently thought for a moment before speaking. 

“I’m going to get Regulus.” 

(1 hour later) 

You sat huddled in Moaning Myrtle's lavatory. Typically you would just sit by the window and look outside. Tonight, however, you didn’t even want Myrtle to talk to you. You went into one of the stalls and closed the door. Sinking down, you wanted nothing more than to spend the evening in tears.

The sound of the door opening and close made you stop. You couldn’t help but wonder who in the right mind was coming in here? Most people were scared to death of even crossing Myrtle so coming into her bathroom was insane.

You listened to the footsteps as they inched closer. 

“Y/n?”

Your heart began to pound hearing Regulus’ voice. Putting a hand to your mouth, you choked back a sob that was still trying to go through you. 

“Y/n, I know that you are in here. Lily told me so. I can also smell your perfume.” 

You watched, from your place on the floor, as his feet stepped closer and closer. When the door tried to open and wouldn’t budge, he sighed. Regulus could see the outline of your body in the poorly lit room. 

Regulus slowly sank to the floor on his knees. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I never meant to hurt you. Darling, I know that you probably don’t believe me but I had nothing to do with Ambrosia kissing me. I wouldn’t have done it to hurt you.” 

When you didn’t reply, Regulus slowly sat down and leaned back against the door. This was not how he envisioned spending your last night together before the Christmas holiday. Regulus didn’t know what else to say. He had warned you that he was clueless when it came to being a boyfriend. 

“I love you, Y/n. Ambrosia is jealous. I never cared for her as I do you.”

“You’re better off with her.” 

You finally replied. Regulus frowned. 

“Why would you say something like that?” 

“Your friends won’t treat her like crap or a second class citizen. I’m always going to be that person and you won’t do anything about it. I want to be alone.” 

Regulus could see your hand within inches of his. He slowly reached out and covered your hand with his. 

“I was wrong to let them talk to you like that. It will not happen again. You make me happy...she doesn’t. She doesn’t make me feel loved as you do. Please come out. I don’t want to be alone again. I’ve felt alone my whole life. Sirius left me. I don’t want to lose you too.”

You turned your hand enough to feel Regulus’ palm against yours. Pressing your lips together, you fought back another urge to cry. This was the most that Regulus had opened up to you since that first day of being a couple. He was clearly trying. Putting his reserved closed-off nature to the side and letting you know what he was feeling said a lot. 

Regulus, meanwhile, almost cried himself when your hand pulled away from his. The moment that he heard the door unlocking he jumped up. Maybe you were giving him a second chance? 

The moment that you opened the door, it took all that he had not to pull you against him. Your pretty green eyes were puffy from crying and your make up was ruined but Regulus didn’t care. You were beyond lovely in the silver dress that you were wearing. 

“Come here.” 

Regulus said holding his arms out. You didn’t need to be told twice before throwing your arms around Regulus’ shoulders as he held you back. Snuggling your face into his shoulder, you didn’t want to let him go. 

“I’m sorry, love. Please don’t hate me.” 

Regulus’ voice was gentle as he did whatever he could to comfort you. After a few moments, you slowly looked up at him. Regulus appeared as devastated as you were. Now he reminded you of the sad boy that you had also noticed walking through the hallways. The boy whose parents never said that they loved him...the boy that you needed and who needed you. 

“I don’t hate you.”

You said before pulling him down into a kiss. Regulus’ eyes instantly snapped closed as he deepened the kiss. 

“I could kiss your lips forever.”

He said as his eyes fluttered open. The two of you stood nuzzling your noses against each other while simply enjoying the moment. 

“Would you like to go to the room of requirement?”

You asked. Regulus’ opened his eyes. 

“Are you sure you want to give up your virginity to me now? I figured that I would be grounded.” 

You shook your head. 

“Now is a perfect time.” 

Regulus wrapped his hand around yours and quickly tugged you toward the bathroom door. 

The two of you snuck through the hallways avoiding teachers and prefects. Regulus held the door to the room of requirement open before rushing in after you and casting a locking charm. The last thing that he wanted was for anyone to disturb the two of you. 

Meanwhile, you were looking around the room with a smile. A bed was already waiting for the two of you. Regulus’ arms wrapped around you from behind. 

“We don’t have to rush.” 

He whispered, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

“I’m ready.” 

You said, hoping that you sounded as confident as you felt. Regulus reached up for the zipper on your dress and slowly pulled downward. 

“You’re beautiful. Y/n, you’re the only girl that I want in my bed.” 

Where his sudden surge of bravery came from...Regulus wasn’t sure. He had been dying to get his hands on you for ages. From the first kiss, he wanted you desperately but he couldn't ruin your first time due to him being a horny mess. 

You stepped out of your dress as Regulus turned you in his arms. His eyes slowly rolled down your body. Suddenly, you felt very timid in front of him. You quickly pulled your hands in front of your bra-covered breasts. Regulus gently pulled you toward the bed and sat you on his lap. 

“Don’t hide.” 

He reached behind you and tugged on the bra’s clasp until it was undone. You let Regulus remove the lace fabric and toss it to the ground. He smiled the moment that your bare breasts were visible to him. 

“May I touch you?”

You nodded frantically as Regulus rubbed his thumb over your nipple before reaching out, taking the sensitive bud into his mouth. 

“Reggie.” 

You sighed his name, stroking his curls. Regulus groaned and lifted his hips enough to press himself against your core. You had quickly become aware of how hard he was with each thrust. 

“Let’s get the rest of these clothes off.” 

Regulus said as he began tugging at his tie and the buttons of his shirt. You, reluctantly, climbed off of his lap so he could finish undressing. 

“Go ahead and lay back.”

He said softly. That overwhelming sense of nervousness returned. You swallowed as you gazed at Regulus’ body. 

_How is that going to fit inside of me?_

You thought, nervously. At the moment, you were thankful that Lily and Marlene had told you what to expect the first time. 

_It won’t feel great at first. Burns like hell...but it will start feeling nice quickly if Regulus knows what he’s doing._

Regulus grabbed his wand and pointed it to your stomach to mutter a quick contraceptive charm. His eyes were all over your body before biting his bottom lip. 

“I want to take my sweet precious time and have you begging for it. Put your legs up and spread them a bit.” 

You quickly did as you were told as Regulus took his place between your spread legs. He leaned down for a quick kiss then kissed his way down your body. You sighed with each kiss but froze as he reached your belly button. 

“Regulus, what are you doing?” 

His eyes rolled up with a wicked little grin. He stroked his finger over your folds sending you into a wiggling moan. 

“I want to kiss you here.” 

His right hand stroked over your thigh. 

“And here...I want to put love bites all over those pretty thighs.” 

Where this Regulus came from you weren’t sure. This Regulus was more than sure of himself. Maybe you owed Ambrosia a thank you after all? 

Regulus’ lips were on your thighs as he flipped his shaggy hair over his shoulder. In the candlelight of the room, his eyes seemed two shades darker. You fought back little moans as he peppered your thighs with butterfly kisses before finally biting down. 

“Oh, Merlin!” 

You squeaked as he sucked harshly at the tender skin of your thighs. Regulus smirked as he leaned back admiring his work. As far as he was concerned, you were about to be marked up for the rest of forever. 

His eyes drifted to your core. From where Regulus sat, he could see that you were already glistening wet. 

“Can I kiss you here?”

He asked, this time he pressed on your clit firmly with his thumb. Your hips involuntarily bucked as you nodded. Regulus slowly lay down on his stomach to continue his game of butterfly kisses on your mound. When you sighed in frustration his tongue finally made contact. You could have come apart but what he was going alone. 

“Don’t come.”

Regulus ordered. You spent the next few moments hyper-focused on the ball of tension that was building with each swipe of his tongue. 

“Reggie, please.” 

You gasped. 

“Regulus.”

He snapped. You smiled at the bossy tone of his voice and reached for his hair. Twirling your fingers in the silky strands, you couldn't help it. You came. Regulus quickly put his mouth back to you and helped you through your orgasm. 

“That was beautiful.” 

Regulus said with a happy smirk of approval before rising up. 

“I’m pushing in now...just the tip at first. This may sting.” 

Regulus’ voice was strained as he adjusted himself to your opening and slowly pushed inside. The moment that your body clenched around him; Regulus froze. He leaned down to feverishly kiss you. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He cooed. You shook your head. 

“Just do it, please.” 

You said through gritted teeth as each inch of his body pushed further inside. The full feeling didn’t ease up for a good moment either. 

“Regulus, please.”

You cried. Regulus’ eyes were clenched shut. 

“I’m about to come. Give me a moment.” 

The two of you remained in the same position for a moment before Regulus nodded and shoved all the way in. You cried out from underneath him. Regulus quickly leaned down to kiss you gently. 

“It's over, sweetheart. Tell me when you want me to move.” 

You waited a moment longer as your body adjusted before raising your hips. 

“Now, please move.” 

Regulus quickly pulled out and eased back in. With each snap of his hips, you were again falling further and further over the edge. 

“Coming.”

Regulus groaned through gritted teeth before sending both of you over the edge. Neither Regulus nor yourself wanted to move for a few moments. You lay lazily twirling your fingers in his sweat-drenched hair. 

“Just so you know I can last longer than five minutes.”

Regulus said with a lazy smile. You giggled. 

“I don’t doubt you.” 

Regulus was the first to pull away. He reached for his wand and quickly cleaned up the mess that he left inside of you. 

“This was a lot better than Slughorn’s Christmas party.” 

You nodded, yawning as Regulus curled up beside you. 

“Totally.”


	7. Chapter 7

Slughorn’s party was well into its second hour when Lily realized that she had not seen you. She looked around for any sign of you. When she looked around for Regulus there was nothing there too. Lily turned to Sirius, who actually ended up coming with some Ravenclaw girl. 

“Sirius, where is Y/n? I haven’t seen her nor Regulus.” 

Sirius looked around and shrugged.

“My guess is she is somewhere underneath my brother.” 

Lily rolled her eyes. 

“Oh, please. You know that Y/n won’t get undressed in front of Regulus. She thinks her butt is too big and he’s taking things slow.” 

Sirius shook his head as the Ravenclaw girl began to get annoyed with him talking to someone else of the female species. 

“I’m telling you. Those two are off somewhere doing dirty things. I see how they are looking at each other. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Anyhow, I hope one of them had the presence of mind to use a contraceptive charm. The last thing that we need is a half Regulus half Y/n creature running around here.”

(meanwhile) 

You lay halfway across Regulus as he stroked his fingers through your messy hair. The two of you were after round two that lasted a lot longer than round one. 

“That was nice.” 

You said with a happy yawn. Regulus chuckled. 

“Yes, it was. I could definitely get used to this.” 

You sat up enough to look down at his handsome face. 

“Do you believe in love now?”

“I think that you know the answer to that.” 

Regulus replied. You reached down and stroked your hand over his cheek before going for another kiss. Regulus sighed against your lips happily before pulling you up for a deeper kiss. 

Everything was going well until your hand stroked down his left arm. Regulus quickly broke away from the kiss and muttered “ ow” under his breath. You looked down and noticed the cuts on his wrists. The realization hit you like a brick! Your mind went back to that day by the lake when you noticed the scars but Regulus ignored your question. 

“Regulus…” 

He quickly sat up and his wrist in between his stomach and raised knees. Regulus didn’t want you to find out what he did to himself like this. The perfect evening was quickly going to hell! How was he supposed to tell you that he suffered from soul-sucking depression since childhood and this was his only “coping” tool? 

“Forget it, Y/n.” 

You shook your head and gently pulled his left hand back to you. 

“Is this why you wouldn't answer my question that day?” 

Regulus didn’t reply. He didn’t want to talk about this. Regulus didn’t want to tell you that his whole fucked up life caused him to be this way? Nothing had ever made him happy before From his parents with their pureblood mania, to his brother who ran away and didn’t care about him anymore, to the many MANY times that he had almost lost you...Regulus had no idea how to deal with the pain that he was going through. You wouldn't get it. No one ever understood. Even though you loved him, why would you be any different? Would you say “get over it” the way that his mother did or would you give him some look of contempt that his father did? 

Meanwhile, you reached over to the side of the bed and grabbed your wand to heal the wounds. After a moment, Regulus’ pale skin was flawless again. You stroked your thumb over the scars before meeting his gaze. 

“Reggie, you could really hurt yourself.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

He snapped. You shook your head before quickly climbing on his lap. 

“It matters to me! I love you. How long have you been doing this?”

Regulus shrugged. 

“Since I was 10 or 11. It's the only way that I could deal with everything. From Sirius being sorted into Gryffindor and how our parents reacted to all of the other fucked up things that I have had to deal with. Physical pain is a hell of a lot better than mental pain. You wouldn’t understand it all.” 

You shook your head. What Regulus didn’t seem to realize was the fact that you would understand a lot more than he seemed to realize. 

“Reggie, I understand depression. Think about the things that I have gone through. My brother is a werewolf. I never had a friend until I came here. I have to watch hell that Remus goes through every month and also be the forgotten child in my family. My parents are always worried about Remus, which I understand. I know how bad it can hurt.”

Regulus’ eyes rolled up to your face. He felt bad to admit it but he hadn’t even thought of how things had to be in your home. 

“I guess you do. I had been really good about stopping. I’ve tried...I went for a long time but when we split up over Ambrosia...I couldn’t stop myself.” 

You reached out and took his wrist back into your hand to press a series of kisses to his skin. 

“How about the next time we have problems we talk them out instead of what happened? When you feel like doing this again...find me.”

Regulus smiled and cupped your face. 

“You’re a pretty amazing girl, you know?” 

He leaned forward and snuggled his nose against yours. 

“I try. I don’t want to spend two weeks away from you during Christmas.” 

You said, trying to stop the tears that had been threatening to spill. Regulus looked as sad as you did. He too had been thinking about the time that he would have to spend with his parents over Christmas with dread. There was no way that Regulus could tell his parents about you. They would flip the fuck out over you being a half-blood in addition to being a werewolf’s sister. Walburga and Orion Black would never accept you as a potential daughter-in-law. Their son’s happiness wouldn’t matter. Regulus hadn’t told you but he knew his mother was trying to find a proper betrothal for him. It didn’t matter that her son was still young. She wanted to make sure things would be perfect. Regulus knew that if he wanted to be with you, a lot of dominoes would have to tip over. The big one being his parents finding out. 

“I know, love. I don’t want to be without you either. You know that I won’t be able to come to the party that your brother and James are throwing.” 

You nodded, sadly.

“I know.” 

Regulus pulled you into a kiss. 

“I’ll try not to cut again, I promise.” 

The next day was the day to return home for the Christmas holidays. You sat snuggled at Regulus’ side throughout the journey. Neither of you had said very much. You knew that when you stepped off of the train, you would have to act as if you were no longer Regulus’ girlfriend. He wouldn’t be able to meet your parents but return to his own who had no idea of your existence. 

As other kids started moving to get off of the train, Regulus stood and pulled you against him. 

“I’ll miss you, love.” 

“I’ll miss you.”

You replied quickly pulling him down into a kiss. It wasn’t until Barty Crouch Jr knocked on the door did Regulus pull away from you. 

“Reg, we have to go.” 

Regulus gave you a sad look before turning and following his friend. Barty turned and gave you a small wave before leaving as well. You waited a few moments before following in the same direction. 

Stepping onto the platform, you looked around for Regulus anyway. He stood a few feet away from your own parents talking to his mother and father. You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Walburga and Orion Black. Both of Regulus’ parents were extremely good looking. What struck you, however, is how they appeared almost bored talking to their youngest son. 

“Y/n! Sugar, let's go!” 

James came out of nowhere and wrapped his arm through yours while Remus grabbed the other to skip to where your parents stood waiting. 

Regulus, meanwhile, glanced over his shoulder when he heard James scream your name. He rolled his eyes trying to ignore the feeling of depression quickly kicking in. 

_“She is going to have a good time and not think of you once.”_

The voice in his head said coldly. Regulus tried to swallow it back as your father and mother kissed both Remus and yourself. You were smiling as your father said something cheerful to you. 

“Who is that girl?”

Regulus jumped, realizing that his mother had seen what he was looking at. He quickly turned to face Walburga who was looking at you with a hawk-like expression. 

“Some girl. She’s friends with Sirius.” 

Walburga nodded. 

“She’s pretty.” 

Regulus shrugged. 

“She’s a half-blood and a Gryffindor…”

Walburga rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t even think about her Regulus. You don’t need a girl like that to bring you down. She would never fit in with our family.” 

Regulus nodded as Walburga focused on something else. Your eyes had flickered to Regulus and offered him a small smile.

“Yes, mother.” 

Christmas break turned out to be better than you thought. Your mother and father had outdone themselves decorating for the holidays. Your father had found a new job and decided that it was time to spoil both Remus and yourself senseless. 

As good as everything was, you still felt sad. It had been a week and you hadn’t heard a word from Regulus. He had promised to at least write you a letter or two when he was able to have some time alone. You couldn’t help but feel a bit worried with the knowledge that he was probably attending multiple pureblood parties that were full of pretty pureblood girls. What if someone who would appeal to his parents caught Regulus’ eye? Would he forget you to find someone that would appease Walburga and Orion Black’s requirements for a wife? 

The night before Christmas eve was the party that Remus and James had put together. The loud music and Dorcas’ happy singing was enough to keep you occupied for the most part. It wasn’t until around 8:00 pm did Sirius come over to you with a grin. 

“I have a present for you.” 

You frowned. The last time that you checked Sirius and yourself had decided to remain friends. That didn’t mean spoiling each other. 

“What?”

You questioned as Sirius wrapped his arm around you. 

“I have something that you are really going to like. It kind of got injured in shipping, however.” 

You frowned slightly worried about Sirius giving you some kind of broken vase then having to explain to Regulus why you got stitches. 

“Sirius, should I be worried?”

Sirius laughed. He was half drunk but reminded you of an over-excited puppy. 

“Nah! I wouldn’t hurt you.” 

Sirius opened the door to the dining room. You froze the moment that you saw Regulus standing holding his left arm. He gave you a small smile. 

“Hi, love.” 

“Reggie!” 

It took you all of three seconds to recover and run across the room to throw yourself on him. Regulus groaned when you hit his injured arm. 

“Oh, Merlin, what happened?”

You questioned, realizing that he was bleeding through his black dress shirt. Regulus winced. 

“I told mum and dad about us and it didn’t go well.” 

You gently rolled up the sleeve of his dress shirt realizing that the wound was deep and needed attention. 

“Sirius, can you go get my dad?” 

Sirius nodded and left the room. You quickly returned your attention back to Regulus. He was trying so hard to act like he wasn’t in pain but you could see him wince. 

“Everything is going to be okay.”


	8. Chapter 8

Once Sirius was out of the room you were kneeling in front of Regulus and gently began to unbutton his dress shirt. 

“This is kind of a bad time to be wanting to get me naked.”

Regulus said with a pain-filled smirk. You had to fight the smirk that was threatening to take over your face. That sounded like such a Sirius-like comment. 

“I need to see how badly she hurt you.” 

Regulus winced as he leaned back enough for you to finish unbuttoning his shirt. As gently as possible, you eased the black dress shirt that he was wearing off. The moment that you saw the huge gash on his left arm it took all that you had not to cry. 

“What happened?” 

You finally were able to ask. Regulus shrugged. 

“I’ll tell you later.” 

Before you could protest, your mother and father came into the room. Both stopped at the sight of a half-naked boy sitting on the sofa. Your father turned to Sirius. 

“This is your brother?”

Sirius nodded, 

“And what’s left of his arm.” 

Lyall Lupin nodded before turning to his wife. 

“Hope, darling, go get some bandages, please. I have a feeling that we will be needing them.” 

Your mother nodded before motioning you to come with her. Your attention flickered to Regulus. He gave you a nod. 

“I’ll be fine.” 

When you left the room with your mother, Lyall took the place that you had been sitting in so he could get a better look at the injuries the boy had sustained. 

“Does your family run an underground fight club?”

Regulus smirked. 

“It might look that way but no.” 

Lyall chuckled. He had seen enough injuries that Sirius had received when he would sneak to the Lupin family home to be with Remus. 

“I’ll be able to get you fixed up momentarily. So you’re the boyfriend? I have heard your name leave my daughter’s lips at least a thousand times since she’s come home.” 

Normally this kind of conversation would strike fear in the hearts of most teenage boys but to Lyall, the boy in front of him was eerily calm. He wondered if Regulus was expecting another beating for agreeing to be your boyfriend. 

“You can relax, son. We aren’t going to hurt you. You have been through that enough. I have one request to make of you when it comes to my Y/n.” 

Regulus nodded. He decided not to reply as he had a feeling that he knew where this was going. 

“Yes, sir?”

He questioned softly. Lyall took out his wanted and quietly uttered a healing spell to sew up the exposed flesh and muscle on Regulus’ arm. 

“Y/n has been through a lot in her life. She has had to deal with things that no child should. Her mother and I have always had to keep a closer watch on Remus. I think you know why too. Sometimes Y/n fell through the cracks. I’m fine with you being with her but I don’t want her harmed. She doesn’t deserve to have a broken heart when she’s had to deal with those enough in her short life.” 

Regulus swallowed back a groan as his arm healed a little quicker than he was prepared for. He shouldn’t have been surprised either. Lyall Lupin was probably a master of healing wounds since he had a son that was a werewolf. The man probably spent the days after the full moon patching his eldest son up. 

“I would never hurt her intentionally. Mr. Lupin, I love you daughter.” 

Lyall nodded. 

“Well, since we have an understanding of Y/n I suppose you’ll see my point when I say that I can’t let you go back to your family. If you get hurt worse, my daughter will never forgive me for allowing you to go back to a viper's nest.” 

Regulus was a bit surprised by your father’s proposition. Lyall and Hope Lupin were stretched thin with two children to take care of. How were they going to care for a third? There was no way. Regulus knew that your family was on the poorer end of things. Caring for a third teenager seemed a bit crazy. 

Sirius’ voice pulled Regulus from his thoughts of being a major inconvenience.

“Reg, I wrote uncle Alphard. He is going to be dropping by tomorrow morning.” 

That answered Regulus’ next question. He knew that Alphard Black had been financially caring for Sirius since his brother left home and had low key offered Regulus the same support should he ever decide to leave “the crazy.” 

(meanwhile) 

You stood beside your mother as she went through her stash of first aid supplies. Her kind eyes were taking in what bandages would do and what wouldn’t do. 

“Mum, you can tell me what you are wanting to say.” 

You said softly. Hope looked up at you with a soft smile. She hadn’t stopped feeling “happy” since she saw the way that you were looking at Regulus. In the beginning, when you wrote and told her that you were dating Sirius, she was nervous. While Hope adored Sirius, she couldn’t help but wonder if his younger brother was as reckless and “wild.” Hope had been worried the moment that Remus brought Sirius home but things were different for her son. Remus would be able to handle whatever Sirius threw his way (and he did). Things were different for you, however. Maybe it was a bit of a double standard or slightly sexist but you were her only daughter. 

“He is cute.” 

You grinned. 

“Cute? He’s perfect in every possible way.” 

Your mother smiled. She had never heard you talk this way about any boy before. You didn’t even seem to be phased by them. Maybe it was having Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter for friends? 

“You’re really happy aren’t you, darling?” 

You nodded. Despite all of the bad things that had happened in your relationship with Regulus; you were very happy. You weren’t thrilled that he turned up injured at his parent’s hand but now you wouldn’t have to let him go anytime soon. There would be no way that your father, being the good man, that he was would ever let Regulus return to his parents. 

“I am.” 

Hope put the bandage that she was holding down. 

“Are you being safe?” 

Your face immediately went scarlet. 

“Oh, mum!” 

You whined. The last thing that you wanted to do was discuss your sex life with your mother but this talk was bound to happen. 

“Y/n, things are different with you than your brother. I don’t have to worry about him and Sirius. You are different. I don’t want you to be a mother as a teenager. I don’t think Regulus would want that responsibility either.” 

You put a hand over your face. 

“Mum, I know plenty of contraceptive charms.” 

Hope turned with her warm motherly smile. 

“I would like it if you would consider taking some other forms of birth control too.” 

“You mean the muggle stuff?” 

Your mother nodded. She wanted to giggle at the expression of sheer dread on your face. The two of you had never had this clear of a discussion on sex before. Now that the two of you were, Hope could see that she should have had this conversation sooner.

“I’m not going to tell you to stop having sex with the boy. That will be counterproductive because you are going to do what you are going to do. If I know one thing about my daughter, telling you not to do something is the encouragement that you will need to go and do whatever the task is.” 

You smiled. Hope was right on that one. If your parents didn’t want you to do something, telling you not to do it was all of the fuel that you needed.

“Mum, I’ll take it! If it makes you feel better, I will gladly take it. Besides, you’re right. I don’t need a baby right now. There’s a lot that I want to do. Getting out of school before I take that step is a big one. I’m sure that you want to be a grandma but not tomorrow.” 

Hope reached out and tucked your messy sandy curls behind your ear. 

“My sweet wild girl.” 

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead before placing the bandages in your hands. 

“Go patch him up. I think by now you know how to patch people up well.” 

You smiled and quickly went back to the room where Regulus sat with your father. His stormy eyes rolled up as soon as you walked back into the room. Your father stood up from his place on the floor. 

“I was wondering if the two of you had gotten lost.” 

You had to resist the urge to tell your father that you were getting the birth control talk. Lyall Lupin may have been cool in a lot of ways but he wasn’t that cool. He would probably faint at the idea of you no longer being a virgin. Maybe it would be a good idea to tell him so he would come out from under the rock that he was living under? 

“Sorry...mum was talking to me about…”

Your father held his hand up shaking his head. 

“I don’t want to know. Have a nice night kids.” 

Lyall backed out of the room to go back to the book that he was reading. Remus, who had come into the room, was looking as grossed out as his father when you sat back down beside Regulus. 

“Merlin, Y/n just scar our poor parents.” 

Remus muttered. Sirius chuckled. 

“I think they get the idea that you two know what sex is. If they don’t...well Regulus and I need to do our jobs better.” 

“Can we not talk about this right now?” 

Regulus questioned as you gently lifted his arm to wrap the bandage around his healing skin. Sirius elbowed Remus in the side. 

“Let's go back to the party. Prongs will probably be wondering where we have made off to. I think Regulus and Y/n won’t be joining us.” 

Remus nodded and looked back at you with a smile. You were gently wrapping Regulus’ arm as you had his multiple times. If you didn't become a healer in the future then you would truly miss your calling. 

“Yeah, they are busy.” 

Remus said before following Sirius out of the room. 

Once the door closed, you finally met Regulus’ gaze. He didn’t have to tell you that he was still in pain. His eyes told you everything that you needed to know. It wasn’t physical pain but mental pain. 

“Did she hurt you anywhere else?”

Regulus shook his head as you reached down to help him up. 

“Come on, we’ll go to my room. It will be quieter there. “ 

Stepping into your room, Regulus couldn’t help but smile. This room screamed “Y/n.” Everything seemed to radiate your sweet scent. Pictures lined the wall opposite of a cozy looking window seat. You quickly tugged back the quilt that your mother had made you years ago. Slightly blushing at the realization that your boyfriend was looking at your “pony quilt” was a tad embarrassing. 

“I like it.” 

Regulus said, softly. You blushed harder. 

“You like pony quilts.” 

Regulus chuckled. 

“Well, it's not really my style but it's all you. That’s why I like it. Everything here is all you and I like it. It's all comforting.” 

You smiled before pushing a strand of hair away from your face before taking his hand in yours. The realization that his family ring was gone struck you as surprising. Even with all that his family put him through, this was an indicator that Regulus really had “enough.” 

“Tell me what happened. I need to know, Reggie.” 

Regulus’ peaceful smile faded and his “Black family scowl” took over. 

“I told my mum and dad about us. I told them that I would not give you up no matter what they or any other member of our family had to say about it. My mother had a tantrum. Apparently, she has been diligently working to find a suitable wife for me. She was on the floor screaming like a spoiled toddler because I was marrying a half-blood. She said some crap about Remus and I told her to shut up. After that, my father decided to use the cruciatus curse on me a couple of times while mum beat the crap out of me.” 

Your hand had covered your mouth as Regulus quickly took your hand in his. 

“Being with you is worth it though. You’re the only one that gets me, Y/n. You don’t care about the depression or the cutting. I know that you don’t like it…” 

You shook your head. No, you didn’t like it. In fact, knowing that he was causing himself that much pain made your heart physically hurt. The most that you assumed that you would be able to do was be there for him when he needed you (which you would do with no complaints). If you could help Regulus enough to stop the cutting, you would do anything that he asked of you. 

“I don’t like knowing that you are in that much pain that is the only outlet but I know that you are trying to stop too.” 

Regulus was silent as he rubbed his thumb over your palm. He wouldn't tell you that he wanted nothing more than to find something sharp to dig into his arm. His brain had gone into overload with everything that had happened that day and he didn’t know how to deal with it all. 

Another thing that Regulus wasn’t ready to tell you was the fact that Evan was pressuring him to join the death eaters. At the moment, Regulus had no plans of saying yes. He knew if he said yes to that it would mean losing you. You wouldn't support him with that dark mark on his arm. 

Regulus and Evan had words the night before over you too. Evan had told Regulus that he needed to cut ties with you. 

_“A Slytherin dating a Gryffindor is laughable. That girl is wasting your time. You need to say yes to whatever girl that your mother finds for you. She will find someone who is worthy of you.”_

It had taken all Regulus had not to punch Evan in the face. He politely told Evan that he was wrong about you and that there was nothing that his former best friend could say to sway him. It was Barty Crouch Jr who actually saved that day. Barty had followed Regulus after he stormed out of the room and offered his compliments on you. 

_“Y/n is a nice girl. I don’t care much that she is a Gryffindor either but I like Y/n enough to overlook that detail.”_

“You know that I love you.” 

You said, gently. Regulus nodded. 

“I know. I love you too. I really do. Hey look at that, I was wrong about something. Love is actually a real emotion. Look at you, you perfect half-blood angel, you proved me wrong. That’s a feat in itself.” 

You smiled at the comment before gently climbing on Regulus’ lap. Taking extra care not to hit his sore arm, you wrapped your arm around his waist and snuggled your face against his. 

“I’m glad that I proved you wrong on that one.” 

You said with a smile. 

“Me too.” 

Regulus replied softly before pulling you into a soft kiss. Wrapping your other arm around his neck, you were desperate to deepen the kiss. Having not kissed him properly since the night before the Christmas holidays, you wanted to take whatever chance that you could. 

“We don’t have to say goodbye anymore.” 

Regulus said in a soft whisper. His grey-blue eyes fluttered open and met yours. 

“Your father said I can stay here if I wanted. Sirius is in touch with my uncle who is supporting him. He’s apparently going to be dropping by tomorrow sometime. We don’t have to worry about my stupid parents. We can be happy.”

You didn’t have the heart to tell Regulus that the two of you would still have to say goodbye at school. Maybe that would be healthy though? The two of you would need to have some time apart. You also didn’t see Evan Rosier being too thrilled to have you tagging along with his group. Something would never change. 

“Yes, we can be very happy.” 

Regulus gently laid the both of you back. You waited all of two seconds before snuggling back to his side. Both of you lay in silence until you felt Regulus’ even breathing let you know that he had fallen asleep. You sat up enough to press another kiss to his cheek before snuggling back down against his side.

You weren't sure how the meeting with Alphard would go the next morning. Part of you was worried that he would be like the rest of the Black family. So far their reputation wasn’t so great in your eyes. You tried to push the worries from your mind as you drifted off to sleep. 

“We’ll be happy.”


	9. Chapter 9

_“You are no longer in this family. You are an embarrassment to your mother and I.”_

_Orion’s chilling voice thundered as he sent another “crucio” Regulus’ way. He didn’t care that his youngest son was writhing on the floor in pain. Orion Black stood firmly yelling any insane comment that entered his mind._

_“Dad, please stop! I’m still your son...I can’t help that I love her..”_

_Regulus gasped. Orion growled._

_“You can help who you love. You chose to fall in love with a half-blood who is a blood traitor just like Sirius.”_

_“Just give her a chance! Please. Y/n makes me happy. Doesn’t that matter at all? I’m your son. You are supposed to want me to be happy.”_

_Regulus had no idea why he was pleading with his father. Orion didn’t care how clinically depressed his youngest son was. To Orion, depression was some crutch that Regulus started using after Sirius left._

_“What is best for this family is my concern. When you date a blood traitor that brings shame on this family, my concern will always be our family's reputation. Now get up and screw your fucking head on right and I may consider letting you back in.”_

_Regulus was still trying to catch his breath. He had reached up to the cut that Walburga inflicted during her initial torture. He winced feeling his blood oozing out of the cut before rolling over to look at Walburga._

_She sat on the couch watching her husband what was supposed to be her “favorite” son with an expression of scorn._

_“Mother, doesn’t it matter that I’m happy at all? You know how I…”_

_Walburga cleared her throat as she met Orion’s eyes. They gave each other a nod as if saying, “We worry about our reputation only. He needs to grow up.”_

_“Regulus, it's time to man up. Your father has spoken. If you choose the girl then you will leave this house.”_

_Regulus pressed his head against the hard wooden floors._

_“I choose Y/n. Neither of you will understand because love is an alien-like emotion around here.”_

_Walburga was on her feet within a second screeching “crucio.” She was going to make sure that Regulus suffered as much as she did…”_

Regulus sat up in a cold sweat. Looking around the room, he instantly felt better seeing that he was in your room. You lay snuggled against your pillow, sleeping peacefully. Regulus ran a hand through his bed ravaged hair. How you hadn’t woken up from all of the noise that he was making was beyond him. 

Taking a breath, Regulus tried to get a grip on the depressed feelings that were surging through his brain. He no longer had a family. The realization that his parents didn't care for his happiness made Regulus hurt all the more. 

Regulus’ vision landed on a knife that was sitting on your desk. He quickly looked away ignoring that urge to run the blade over his skin. One cut would be so nice...one cut would relieve so much pressure. 

You wouldn’t be happy though. Regulus didn’t want to see that look of worry in your eyes. Had it been up to him, you would have never figured out that he cut to begin with anyway. It would forever be the “little secret” that Regulus would always keep to himself. 

“I don’t see that.” 

Regulus muttered using his right hand to pinch the skin of his left forearm as hard as possible. He closed his eyes hoping for that same feeling of euphoria to wash over him as cutting brought. When it didn’t Regulus quickly started opening and closing his hands. 

“There is no knife over there. I don’t see it. Y/n will be upset. She loves me and wants me to be happy...everything is fine...everything is….”

Regulus waited a whole two seconds before quickly getting out of bed and picking the knife up. His eyes flickered to you for any sign that you were awake. When you only yawned and snuggled deeper in your pillow, Regulus sighed. 

“I’m sorry, love.” 

He whispered before sneaking out of your bedroom without making a noise. 

The next morning you were awoken by a knock on your door. You shoved your messy hair away from your face before glancing at the alarm clock. 

“Yeah?”

You called with a yawn as Regulus put a hand over his face. Remus’ voice came from the other side of the door. 

“Regulus’ uncle is here.” 

Regulus lowered his hand and stared at the ceiling. You knew without Regulus saying it, he didn’t want to face Alphard. From everything, Sirius had told you Alphard was a nice guy (unlike his siblings). Maybe Regulus didn’t want to be dependent on someone else? You didn’t want to think about Regulus still thinking as his mother did. What thoughts did Walburga shove her youngest son’s head with against his uncle? 

“We’ll be right out.” 

You replied. Hearing Remus walk away, you turned your attention back to Regulus. 

“Reggie.” 

You said his name softly before laying back down to snuggle against his side. Sitting up enough, you gently kissed his jawline. You were relieved when Regulus gave a small smile. 

“I see you smiling.”

You giggled, stretching your arm to fall down his left arm. Holding his hand seemed like the next best thing to do. Conning Regulus into making love quickly didn’t seem like the best idea. Facing another member of the Black family with a red face and bed ravaged curls didn’t seem like the best way to make the first introduction. 

Regulus groaned and yanked his arm away. You frowned and quickly yanked the sheet back. Regulus couldn't meet your eyes as you looked at the freshly made cut.

“Regulus…”

“Well, what did you expect was going to happen, Y/n?” 

He snapped before getting out of bed and looking for a pair of pants to put on. You followed his lead and went to your closet for clean clothes too. 

“When?”

You questioned, keeping your voice as gentle as possible. 

“Last night. Look, I know that you are mad....”

Regulus stopped talking when you turned and looked at him with tear-filled eyes. 

“I’m not mad at you, Regulus. I’m scared for you. I’m scared that you are going to hurt yourself. You promised me that when you felt like you were going to need to do that again...you would talk to me.” 

Regulus shrugged. 

“You were asleep.”

“You could have woken me up.” 

Regulus was almost confused at how calm you were acting. He expected you to get angry with him. Why were you not yelling the way that Walburga did when she saw fresh cuts on Regulus’ arms? 

“I’m not the best about talking about this kind of stuff, Y/n. You know that talking about emotions is not my strongest characteristic.” 

You put a hand over your mouth to try to stop the sobs that were wanting to come out. After giving yourself a few moments, you took a breath. 

“I guess you expect me to sit back and watch you seriously hurt yourself. It's harder than you think.” 

Regulus didn’t reply for a moment. His grey eyes had instead turned to another area of your bedroom. 

“I’ll just leave you to it.” 

You said before turning and walking from the room. 

The whole way downstairs, you mentally gave yourself a pep talk about straightening up. You did not want to face your parents, your brother, Sirius, or Alphard with tear-streaked cheeks. Taking a deep breath, you stepped into the living room where your mother and father sat across from a man that had to be Alphard Black. 

There was no denying who he was. He was as good looking as Sirius and Regulus was. He smiled when you stepped in. Sirius, who you had just noticed sat on his right, motioned to you. 

“This is Y/n.” 

“So you are the girl that stole my nephew’s heart.” 

You blushed before sinking down into the chair beside Remus. 

“That would be me.” 

You shyly replied. Alphard nodded. 

“I should thank you. I have always worried about Regulus’ well being when it came to being in the same house as my sister and brother-in-law. They aren’t the nicest of people, as I am sure that you are aware.” 

You nodded, meeting Sirius’ gaze. He gave you a wide smile that left you shaking your head. You had known about Walburga and Orion’s character flaws long before you ever got with Regulus. Seeing the hell that they put Sirius through told you everything that you needed to know about either parent. 

“Yes, sir. I’ve heard a lot of not so nice things about them. 

Alphard nodded, taking a sip of the tea that your mother had given him. 

“Try growing up with them. Oh, Regulus, there you are.” 

You turned as Regulus stepped into the room. Meeting his gaze briefly, you quickly turned back to look at Sirius. The older brother had quickly put it together that there was something simmering between the two of you. He gave you a frown and mouthed “what’s wrong?” You shook your head and replied, “later.” 

What you didn’t see was Regulus glaring between the two of you. While he knew that you were devoted to him, he still worried about Sirius. Sirius didn’t have all of the emotional garbage that Regulus had going on. He didn’t leave you worried over cuts all over his arms or his dark and distant looks. 

“Hello, uncle.” 

Regulus replied before taking his seat beside you. His hand slipped onto your thigh trying to get some affection back. Your hand wrapped around his giving Regulus some comfort as Alphard began to speak. 

“Sirius told me what happened with your mother. While Walburga is my sister, I do not support how she has raised my nephews. Neither of you have deserved half of the hell that you have been put through. That's why I am offering to keep both of you financially secure.” 

Regulus finally met his uncle’s gaze. 

“Mother isn’t going to be happy.” 

Alphard smirked. 

“I don’t care what my sister likes nor doesn’t like. Besides, it's our family's money and it is my pleasure to spend it. Regulus you can come back home with me or you can stay here with Y/n and her family. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin are fine with you remaining with their daughter as Mr. and Mrs. Potter has already made a claim on keeping your brother.” 

Regulus took in his uncle’s words before deciding to speak 

“So you are fine with me dating a half-blood girl from Gryffindor?” 

Alphard nodded. 

“I am. I think a Gryffindor girl that almost went to Hufflepuff is just fine. She seems like a perfect match for you. The two of you can even each other out. Now, I have to be going. I’ll be sending both Sirius and yourself money each month. Should your mother or father reach out to you, for whatever reason, do have them write to me. I would love to give them my opinion on the matter.” 

Regulus nodded and stood to walk his uncle out. You remained in the room with Sirius and Remus when your parents too left. 

“What’s going on?”

Sirius asked. You shook your head. 

“Nothing.” 

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks. Remus leaned down to you. 

“And I was born yesterday.” 

You stood up. The last thing that you really wanted to do was tell either Remus or Sirius what was really bothering you. You couldn’t imagine telling Sirius “oh, your brother is just slicing his arms open and I am worried about my mind. Don't worry about it. I hope to have him well soon.” 

“Guys, I don’t want to talk about it. Tell Regulus, when he comes back, that I went to take a shower.”


End file.
